Seasons Greetings and Winter Blues

The holiday season is around the corner and this can bring up a wide variety of emotions. The holiday season has historically been advertised as a joyous time with family and friends, but the reality is that the holiday season can bring heartache, loneliness, and grief. While the holidays may bring a variety of joyous emotions, they may also serve as a reminder of the death of a loved one, estranged family relationships, traumatic events, financial strain, and other stressors. No matter your situation, you are not alone in this feeling. It can be difficult to navigate through complicated emotions this time of year. It is also difficult to decide on what is going to best suit you while dealing with the external pressure from family who are expecting to see you during the holidays. 

So, what do you do?

Below I have highlighted some ideas on ways to support yourself through the holiday season if it is a particularly difficult time for you. Some ideas from this blog may be helpful, and others not so much. Regardless, what you decide to do is completely up to you. You may even come up with your own ideas on how to best support yourself this holiday season. 

Accept what the holidays bring up for you emotionally.

Why try to “fix” how you feel? Your emotions are your emotions and they are valid. There is no need to try to adjust them to “spread holiday cheer”. This season may bring painful reminders, don’t feel as if you should be happy because the time of year is advertised as such. You may feel excited and joyous to celebrate the season, but you may also feel sad, anger, and frustration. It is ok to experience these emotions simultaneously. Though confusing, seemingly different emotions are able to coexist. 

Create your own holiday traditions.

What does the holiday season bring up for you? Can you make a tradition this holiday season that will bring you joy amidst the sadness? This may not be applicable for all, but you can become creative in ways to celebrate the holidays while still honoring the difficult emotions that may arise. 

Celebrate the holidays in the way you decide is best for you.

The holiday season can also bring excessive travel plans and fatigue. Ask yourself how you want to celebrate the holidays. Do you want to go to your family’s holiday party? Would you prefer to stay home? Decide what is going to serve you best this holiday season. If it will serve you best to rest during this time, do what feels right for you. You can always choose to celebrate the holidays with others the weeks before or after the holiday. 

Donate items or your time during the holiday season.
Volunteering to help others during the holiday season does not only help others in need, but can be a positive boost to our own mood. This could be donating items such as clothes, toys, and canned food, but this could also be donating your time. Your time could be used at a food pantry, hospital, or nursing home. It is best to check in with your local community organizations to learn more about the volunteering opportunities. 

Set boundaries with family and friends on holidays.

It is important to recognize your needs and to listen to them. Sometimes the other people in your life do not understand what it is you are going through. Therefore, they may not understand your need for space or decreased engagement with others. Set boundaries, others may not understand, but what matters is what is going to bring you a sense of comfort this season. 

Do what serves you best.

Ask yourself, what would best support you through this season? The answer will vary person to person, and could even change day to day. What’s important is that you listen to what it is that you need this holiday season. It can be easy to fall into the “I should be doing..” or “They would really want me there.” Thoughts like these ignore your own needs. Take the time this holiday season to listen to what it is that you need to best support yourself. 

The purpose of this blog is to serve as a gentle guide and reminder that the holiday season does not have to be “the most wonderful time of the year”. This blog does not contain factual content, rather validation and advice on ways to support yourself during what can be a difficult time of year for many people. Whatever it is that you are experiencing during the holiday season, your feelings are valid. You deserve to care for yourself in a way that will help shed some light this holiday season.