It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better

“Our capacity to destroy one another is matched by our capacity to heal one another”

-Bessel Van Der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score

Running is so hard, and I am humbled every time I return from a morning run. I have always been someone that enjoys a challenge and wants to do the hard work. Running my first marathon last year was the hardest thing I have ever done. I told myself over and over again “I can do hard things”; whenever the thought of taking another step felt impossible. Running has taught me that no matter how impossible something seems, with the right training, support, and attitude, I can accomplish whatever I put my mind to.

I specialize in the “hard stuff.” The things that no one wants to talk about because it is hard. And you know what? Trauma work, working through the moments and healing is REALLY hard. Harder than running a marathon. Harder than probably anything you would image to be possible. Why is it so hard? When I work with trauma survivors, the first thing that I tell every one of them is “It is going to get worse before it gets better.” Together we are going to bring to light the moments that have been shoved down so deep, that when glimpses rise to the surface, we shove them down even further.

It is scary to face these moments because acknowledging that something traumatic has happened brings up uncomfortable feelings and emotions. Thoughts of shame, guilt, anger, regret, sadness, and disbelief are HARD emotions to battle and control. But if we do not address, accept, and manage these emotions, eventually they begin to seep out into all aspects of our lives. Unresolved trauma can have adverse effects on our personal and professional lives, making it hard to form relationships, hold a job, and even manage one’s mental health.

So, what do we do? We work HARD. We push ourselves outside of our comfort zones and bring to light all the darkness that has been shoved down deep for so many years. As a therapist, I am honored to be a part of the healing journey that my clients take me on. Not only do I learn so much more about how to best process and heal trauma, but I witness amazing journeys of healing and self-exploration. Doing HARD things is uncomfortable and scary but being able to look back on traumatic and impactful life experiences, without adverse feelings and reactions, is worth every second of the challenge. I am so passionate about doing the hard things, because it is only when we accomplish those things that we truly can be free.